I Still Love My Ex-Boyfriend...

I just got an e-mail from my Tita Louie from Hong Kong. It's an article from Bo Sanchez. It's interesting. An article detailing on how you can make your marriage work.


Bo Sanchez discussed how he and his wife was able to make their marriage work. He said it's not a thing you should wish for, you have to DECIDE on making things work!


And it hit me. It made sense because when you wish for something, be it a successful marriage, being rich or slimming down, you tend not to do so much about it. It seems that you just wait for it to happen. But when you DECIDE on making it work, you will do all you can to make it happen.

My husband (who is my ex-boyfriend) and I have been married for five (5) years now. I know it's too early to write about it but, hey, five years is five years. Today's generation seems to find it easy to get in and out of marriage. And besides, we've been boyfriends for six (6) years before we got married so that makes eleven (11) years of constant togetherness. Such a long time, I must say!


But anyhoo, after reading the article, I gave a long thought of how things are between us now. Yeah, we see each other everyday. We talk. We eat together. We do stuff together and all, but, are we really ok?


You see, my husband is kind'da frigid. Sometimes, I feel like he is ignoring me, like he doesn't care. Even when he was still my boyfriend (and up until now), we would often argue about it. He is not as spontaneous as he should be. Sometimes, I feel like he would prefer sleeping than talking to me. And that really infuriates me!


I, on the other hand, always find fault at everything. I would question him for not being spontaneous, for not talking to me, for not keeping the room clean, etc., etc., etc.! I will walk out on him when I am mad and ignore him completely. I am always at rage.


But with all these differences, how do we make things work? I guess it's an unconscious effort for us. We have accepted and loved each other that we DECIDED to make things work, even without telling each other to do so. It's a mutual thing, I must say. We exert efforts in making things work...

We still go out on dates. We make it a point to spend time alone together. A movie, a dinner, an ice cream, an arcade, an out-of-town trip... whatever! Just as long as we go out and have fun together. Though for now we can't afford to be alone together because of Enzo, we still go out and date but this time, it's a triple date!


We still hold hands. While walking, lining up at the grocery's cashier or simply sitting down on our couch, we still hold each other's hands as much as we can. It has always been our way of communicating without words.


We still talk. One will talk, one will listen. No yelling. Whether or not we are fighting, that's how it is for us. We try to communicate as effectively as possible to avoid conflicts. We discuss practically almost everything. And we try not to humiliate each at all times, especially in front of other people.


We still say "I Love You"... and mean it! It's a normal thing for us. We say I Love You to each other at all times... verbally, through phone conversations, through text messages, through e-mail, through IM, before going to bed, when waking up, before leaving the house and back. We tell it to each other as often as we can (and we will make sure Enzo will be so used to saying it, too, and meaning it, of course).


We still kiss. We still embrace. Apart from fornicating (which is now quite seldom because of Enzo. hehehe...), we still give each other quick kisses and quick hugs just about anywhere... mall, park, car, cinema. No, we don't do P.D.A. (public display of affection) but it's just in us. It's also our other way of communicating without words.


With all the aforementioned, you may think our marriage is just perfect. NO! It's way too far from being perfect. We still argue, we still get upset at each other, we still sometimes hurt each other with hurtful remarks. But we work hard everyday on keeping our marriage strong. Giving up on each other is not an option.


But of course, it's not just us. We pray. We give thanks. We ask for strength. We ask for acceptance. We ask for peace of mind. And when we do pray, we realize that all the sugar and spices in our daily life helps make us firm in our DECISION...